This Is An Heart Attack

Everybody will remember the moment it happened. Where they were when they heard the news, what they were doing and who broke it to them. As you will be no doubt aware by now, Neil Buchanan has died of heart failure and the art world is in mourning. He revolutionized the genre. Forget Leonardo da Vinci, Raphael and all the rest of the turtles, Neil Buchanan was the Splinter of his trade, the finest drawer since the Ikea Galant. Neil takes to the grave a multitude of trade secrets – how did he manage to do his Big Art Attacks ? how was someone so aesthetically talented unable to paint over that hideous mole on his face? And why did he have that handicap-with-a-ice-lolly expression on him throughout the whole show?

Neil - you will be in our thought and prayers. As a tribute to the great man, I have crafted a mix out of paper mache, pritt stick and a few tunes. I know Neil would have loved it:

Juan Kerr presents This is an Heart Attack

1) Johnny Greenwood – There will be blood
2) Sidwho? – Time to go
3) Greg Hawkes – Niagara Falls/Twenty-seven shirts
4) Parva – Mossem-e-gol (the time of the blossom)
5) Thomas Bangalter – Club Soda
6) Lindstrom – The magnificent
7) Who made who – The plot (Noze remix)
8) Bat for Lashes – Pearl’s dream
9) Ada feat. Raz O’hara – Lovestoned
10) Syclops – Where’s Jason K
11) Speedking – Millionth monkey
12) Friends of Matthew – The calling (the other planet)
13) Peaches – Lose you
14) Au Revoir Simone – Shadows (It’s a fine line remix)
15) Cold Cave – The trees grew emotions and died
16) SIS – Trompeta
17) Two man sound – Que tal America
18) Bibio – Jealous of roses
19) Dusty Springfield – Baby blue
20) Flatt and Scruggs – Nashville blues

The Tube: Night In NYC

Can't say I've ever wanted to spend a night out with Jools Holland or Leslie Ash, but this video has got me thinking otherwise.

Taken from a Tube Special in 1983, they are taken around 3 of the big NYC clubs Danceteria, Roxy and Paradise Garage, before the cabaret licenses came into force.

Some quality interview footage of the Peech Boys, Arthur Baker and Quando Quango too.

Space Cake Mix

Selective Walking - Andrew Weatherall
Dubbed Out Games (Trentemøller's Unreleased Mix) - Chris Isaak
In Heaven (Lady In The Radiator Song) - David Lynch & Pete Ivers
Tatoo - The Rats
Lorelei ( Album Version) - Tom Tom Club
Suspiria - Goblin
Do It To The Max - 6th Borough Project
Vansbro Boogie - Västkustska Ryggdunkarsällskapet
Angela (Pilooski Remix) - Jarvis Cocker
Cosmos - Altair Nouveau
Prepare to Energize - Torch Song
Woman (A Makhnovshchina Repossession) - It's A Fine Line

Premier space cake by adamsrob

Download: Space cake mix

Alice

Seen this video a while back and totally forgot it existed until today, so I thought I'd share it.



Made up almost entirely of sounds from Alice in Wonderland by a guy called Pogo.

If that hasn't spooked you, then this will.

Briliant stuff.

Seedy Amor

French crooner and ultimate seed-athon Serge Gainsbourg has always been a man associated with poppy French love songs with a hint of sleaze sprinkled in there for good measure.

And in 1986 he showcased his true abilities to swoon the ladies with a drunken approach to the then superstar Whitney Houston on national television in France. Clearly pumped full of Bordeaux's finest, the lothario professed his intentions from the off in this delightful little video you can see HERE.

But this brazen sexual claim was clearly not a one off for Msr. Gainsbourg. A quick look at some of his album concepts are undoublty some of the seediest but hilarious ideas ever.

The album Histoire de Melody Nelson released in 1971 had this concept:

"The Lolita-esque pseudo-autobiographical plot involves the middle-aged Gainsbourg unintentionally colliding his Rolls Royce Silver Ghost into teenage nymphet Melody Nelson's bicycle, and the subsequent seduction and romance that ensues."

The popular French song "Les sucettes" was written by Serge for France Gall in 1966 and the song went on to become a national success, but what France Gall did not know was that the song was interwoven with innuendos and sexual motifs, and this might not sound too bad, so far it sounds like a normal chart song, but this was in fact a childrens song. Had Serge crossed the line? Maybe. But his ability to craft sleaze-drenched love songs was a talent.

A quick scan of his (C:) Drive would have been in order had he been alive today but we can't knock this French Adonis as he is far too much of a hero to many men and he made some excellent music.

Serge Gainsbourg-Cargo Culte

Français what you see

Living in Madrid, I have noticed that English is seen to be the ‘cool’ language. If you want have your finger on the pulse of the plaza, then you need to have the admirable ability to sporadically thrust English terms into your day-to-day chit chat. It goes without saying that technology has a huge influence on this linguistic invasion (email, internet, fax, etc. are all acceptable terms in Spanish), but you do find that many other terms are used incorrectly – someone is called a ‘freaky’ rather than a ‘freak’ and a service is known as ‘alto standing’ which means ‘high level’ – no surprise then that Spanish came bottom of the league in an EU survey in 2006 with a mere 22% classing themselves as able to speak English fluently.

Are the Brits any better? Don’t be daft. The Anglophonic inability to speak a foreign language is matched only by the colossal arrogance of many Brits abroad who expect to be spoken to in English wherever they go. Yet paradoxically foreign languages have penetrated the upper echelons of the English language. Open any high-brow newspaper and they will talk condescendingly of Schadenfreude, cause célèbres, and aficionados. Indeed, don’t even bother reading anything by those patronising pricks at The Economist unless you have four foreign-language dictionaries at hand.

Anyway, the point is that musicians have adopted this trend too, believing that dropping some foreign lingo in their tunes will give them that extra kick in the cool category. Madonna famously apologized in 5 languages for kidnapping African children at the beginning of Sorry, Kylie famously told the French nation in this song that she wasn’t aware of the reasons for which at the age of 68 she still looks like Dick van Dyke’s daughter from 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang', and Dublin’s finest diva and philanthropic cockbag Bono showed the Hispanic world what a penis-face he was (as if anyone else was in doubt) by failing to count beyond three in Spanish at the start of this dreadful track.

Fortunately some bands have taken the foreign influence in the correct manner. Step forward the eloquently named Au Revoir Simone whose brilliant new album Still Night, Still Light is so warm-hearted and affectionate, you will feel like your head is being gently stroked by a group of Egyptian slave-ladies at a pyramid-period party.

This is the opening track:

Au Revoir Simone – Another Likely Story

Altair Nouveau

In City of Glass, the first part of Paul Auster's mind-bending New York Trilogy there is a storyline about a man who longs for a language that is not already loaded with meaning. It is a reasonable desire (if a tad futile). But, instead of writing a scholarly essay on the subject, he has a kid (not on his own), who he locks in a basement room, only ever feeding, though never communicating with. Unsurprisingly, this did not result in said child achieving lexical putiry, but created a very pasty, oddball who had the father locked up at the first opportunity.

Nevertheless, there is the seed of a very good idea in this. Not the language part, which is an awful idea unless you are an overly zealous disciple of Jacques Derrida. Even if the kid stumbles upon a lyrical clarity, they will merely be using a bunch of sounds, all but meaningless in the outside world. At best this will result in severe bullying at school, at worst it is a one way ticket to Hermitsville.

For the record, the good idea is not the locking up of the kid part either, let's ditch the child bit and the locking-up side of things too. Although we are being strictly hypothetical, there is no need to do so in a way that may mistakenly alert the authorities. What it got me thinking about was, what it would be like if you could completely control the musical influences of a musician, so that the only ingredients that went into their music were of your choosing.

This makes for a very enjoyable game that you can play with friends on those drunken evenings when everyone keeps stopping each other's tunes halfway through, going "no, honestly, this is amazing..." The way it works is that you get a pen and a bit of paper and before putting on a track you write down a maximum of three influences that you, as hypothetical musical overlord of the act you are about to play, allowed them to listen to when growing up. You play the track and your listeners have to guess at least two of the three influences (they can be acts, genres, single tracks, whole albums etc.) you have written on the paper. If they do not guess right, you get to play a track by each of the two or three influences they did not manage to guess. If your compadres feel strongly that you are wrong, or that they too, see threads of influence in the music then they can also play tracks.

The following is an example:

Say the tune i am playing is Cosmos by Altair Nouveau. Before having done so, I would have written on a piece of paper the following three things:

Logic System- Unit

A Guy Called Gerald- Voodoo Ray

Omar S- Psychotic Photosynthesis

Download, listen and once you have the jist of it, then play with friends. The overall objective of this wonderful game, is to allow you and your crew to get knee deep in each other's musical worlds.

*Please note that the people you play this with must be relatively close friends who you know are into music. It will be a disaster otherwise. Also, do not play this at parties, as you and your friends will seem like muso wankers and everyone will hate you.